I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
