dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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