Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
