At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
