You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
