I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
