I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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