I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
