I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So many bounce houses so little time
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
