Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
