If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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