Sponge bath it is.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
