three words: i give head
three words: not that well
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
