areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
