Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Is her dick bigger than yours?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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