Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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