these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
please come you make the beer taste better
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
