We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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