the new term for farting is butt boxing.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
