I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
