matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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