so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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