chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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