it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
