Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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