I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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