elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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