Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
