Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
