when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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