Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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