my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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