i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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