It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
