the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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