Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i've created a new STD.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
