in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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