I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
