Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
