it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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