If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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