hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
