Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
