hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
tell me about the fingering
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