I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
