sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
