The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
