Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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