In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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