why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
