I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
