So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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