i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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