can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
